Of Bond, villains, and the average boy.
At first glance, there might not seem to be much connection between the new James Bond movie “No Time to Die” reviews, the media and police comments in the aftermath of the tragic murder of Sarah Everard, and the lack of confidence in our young men, but they are in fact related. The word connecting them is not however misogyny - hatred of women - but rather misandry - hatred of men.
We have been in the business of empowering women and enabling them to follow their life choices in the West for well over 200 years, since the early days of “Rights for Women”.
“As a psychotherapist, I meet on a regular basis men who feel disempowered for various reasons, many of them to do with their personal relationships.”
The United Kingdom is one of the most “liberated” in the world for its emancipation of women, even though some would consider that “we still have a long way to go”. However, girls continue to outperform boys at school and to mature earlier, leaving home before many boys are ready to set up on their own. Women excel at the traditional male sports of rugby and football, and are no strangers to government - our last Prime Minister, Theresa May, was a woman. We also have a strong and many believe, inspirational female sovereign in Queen Elizabeth II who is still actively working at the advanced age of 95.
As a psychotherapist, I meet on a regular basis men who feel disempowered for various reasons, many of them to do with their personal relationships. Most men that I have come across however, are anxious to please, and willing to navigate courageously the previously uncharted waters of constant change and, ever increasing female expectations of what is required of them.
I have met young men falsely accused of rape by young women who want to end a relationship. I have also encountered many men who live with the constant risk of being thrown out of the house they live in, should the relationship flounder. Women often operate their home lives on a basis of “keeping my children safe”, and where there is a household of children with several different fathers, the mother is obviously the main “constant” in each child’s life. In addition, she may be provided with government housing. This means that the man’s residential position is often precarious.
Recently this summer, I met two men on a Continuing Professional Development course, who were fathers of young men. They confided in me how anxious they feel about their sons. One cited the extreme lack of confidence that his son felt in relation to the young women he knows, and the other said that his son had suddenly wondered - apparently completely out of the blue - if a sex change might be a good idea, as he had been following some stories on social media which seemed to celebrate the opportunities available to trans people.
Suicide rates of young men continue to be very high, and approximately still three times higher than that of women.
So what does all this have to do with the new James Bond movie?
Apparently, some women feel that the next James Bond needs to be a woman, and object to the traditional “macho” qualities displayed by this very “male” hero. Somehow, some women feel threatened and undermined by James Bond being a man.
“many women are very happy with James Bond being a man, and in fact fantasise about the male lead characters of each of the movies”.
It’s an interesting idea to completely change the sex of a character in a novel that was designed to be a man (by Ian Fleming in 1953) within a particular context and time. Sigmund Freud infamously wrote about female “penis envy” in 1905 and would perhaps have indulged in a private a smile about this latest societal development.
At the same time, The Daily Telegraph has featured a series of reader comments on the topic which seemed to be unanimous in keeping Bond male, and it needs to be noted that many women are very happy with James Bond being a man, and in fact fantasise about the male lead characters of each of the movies.
It can be argued that because male energy is directed outward, just like the male reproductive organs, males tend to delight in explosions and adrenaline-boosting activities. It is after all the male hormone, testosterone, that drives that energy. However, our young men, especially our young white men, are increasingly feeling that it is a toxic thing just to be a man. Perhaps it is not a coincidence that three quarters of the people who wish to transition to the opposite sex - until the recent spike of girls making enquiries - are in fact male.
Now to the latest initial analysis in the press this month of the awful murder of Sarah Everard involving a police officer. It was deeply disturbing to find a lack of attention by the police force and commentators to many cues already flagged up previously as to the dubious, potentially psychopathic nature of the killer. Instead, there was an attempt to once again lay the blame at the feet of “misogynistic” males in general.
The fact that it is a woman - Cressida Dick - heading up the London Metropolitan Police, not a man, seems to have escaped the notice of many commentators. Plans by senior police officers to have a “zero tolerance” policy for “male banter” and the suggestion that a young woman feeling unsafe should flag down a bus for help rather than turn to the police, are extraordinary responses to this tragedy.
“Do most women really want a tame, domesticated male? If so, then why are the James Bond movies still loved by men and women alike after more than 50 years?”
Young men are growing up in a world where to be male is to be a dangerous thing. It is as if the male “hunter” image, protecting hearth and home, familiar from earlier times of humankind’s existence, is now being replaced by the female hunter. She feels that she does not need the male to support her in raising children, and would rather be the main provider herself so that she has control over her life and that of “her” children.
It is easy to see how the new female stereotype has been imagined in Toy Story Four (2019), the Disney animated production featuring Woody and Bo Peep. Bo Peep, liberated from her bell shaped skirt, runs her own show, literally wearing the trousers and mocks Woody for feeling the need to protect others. She is happy for him to join her, but she does not “need” him, and makes this clear.
The question is, how can we support our young men in the face of this new re-drawing of the rules of society? Do most women really want a tame, domesticated male? If so, then why are the James Bond movies still loved by men and women alike after more than 50 years?
What is to be gained by demonising men, when they are our brothers, sons, grandchildren? How can society function properly with 50% of it branded as toxic? Male and Female continue to be complementary characteristics to each other, and I believe we can best move forward by celebrating the need for both. That way, both male and female are afforded equal value by society.
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Disclaimer: This article is for information purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, legal advice, or other professional opinion. Never disregard such advice because of this article or anything else you have read from the Centre for Male Psychology. The views expressed here do not necessarily reflect those of, or are endorsed by, The Centre for Male Psychology, and we cannot be held responsible for these views. Read our full disclaimer here.
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