‘Chivalry’ and ‘Endearment’. (Part 3 of the five-part ‘Chivalry and Endearment’ article series).
Definition of chivalry:
The combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, especially courage, honor, courtesy, justice, and a readiness to help the weak.
Definition of endearment:
A word or phrase expressing love or affection, fondness, sweet nothings.
Men often find themselves instinctively inclined to serve others due to what is commonly referred to as the Protector/Provider-Zeus Instinct. However, this inclination does not imply an endless willingness to engage in one-sided or uncompensated actions, where the arrangement appears perpetual and unfair.
“the Zeus Instinct, symbolic of the act of providing and protecting, requires acknowledgment and appreciation […] This exchange should not be viewed merely as a transaction but rather as a dance”
In reciprocity, the Zeus Instinct, symbolic of the act of providing and protecting, requires acknowledgment and appreciation, which is expressed through the affectionate and appreciative demeanor of the Hera Instinct, as depicted in the caption.
This exchange should not be viewed merely as a transaction but rather as a dance, akin to a courtship. Should either partner falter, withhold, or dominate excessively, the delicate balance of the dance is disrupted, leading to a disjointed performance and potential collapse.
The interplay of endearment and effort encapsulates the essence of love and passion, uniting masculine energy (Zeus) and feminine essence (Hera) into a collective partnership. In the initial phase of human courtship, as I elaborate elsewhere, they converge towards mutual attachment, underpinned by the evolutionary manifestation of "endearment," an innate feminine trait towards the masculine.
Their interactions characterized by passion and the joy of endearment towards each other epitomize the core of love, as defined on Romantipedia: "mutually uplifting each other's self-esteem and fostering happiness."
Exploring how the Hera Instinct and Zeus Instinct shape individual dignity and psychological identity at a cultural level delves beyond the scope of mere explanation; it is a concept meant for collective exploration, without the pretext of "mansplaining," but instead embraced with shared curiosity by individuals of all backgrounds.
Employing Greek mythology helps me articulate insights related to primitive instincts, also recognized in Jungian Psychology and Evolutionary Psychology, despite the temporal and cultural distinctions among them. While alternative mythologies like Ancient Chinese, Hindu, Mayan, or Norse beliefs could serve a similar purpose, my expertise lies primarily with Greek mythology, intricately woven into modern storytelling and cine masterpieces.
Returning to Greek mythology, we encounter the gods of Olympus, including Zeus, who symbolizes the male instinct of protection and provision. In their wisdom the ancient Greeks seemingly unraveled centuries ago what contemporary understanding now identifies as the primal instincts of masculinity and femininity.
These are biologically sex-based instincts that govern general communication styles, the romantic steps of human courtship (my life’s work), and everything from consumer spending patterns to political affiliation.
Part 4 of this series of five articles follows soon…
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Disclaimer: This article is for information purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, legal advice, or other professional opinion. Never disregard such advice because of this article or anything else you have read from the Centre for Male Psychology. The views expressed here do not necessarily reflect those of, or are endorsed by, The Centre for Male Psychology, and we cannot be held responsible for these views. Read our full disclaimer here.
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Paul Dobransky
Dr Paul Dobransky is a psychiatrist based in the US, specializing in the psychology of love, work, and character growth. He is author of the book, The Secret Psychology of How We Fall in Love, from Penguin/Plume. Dr. Paul’s Substack.