Does flying a plane require emotional intelligence?
Can aviation psychology provide useful tools for men to achieve their goals efficiently? What do pilots learn about their ego, their emotional intelligence and leadership skills? Can incels or those who ‘fail to launch’, and boys who question their gender benefit from this knowledge?
I am a counsellor in psychology, I work with men across the globe from South Africa, to Hawaii, to New York. Working across cultures and economic strata means I get diverse perspectives on the challenges of becoming a man in various scenarios. My journey into psychology began during my private pilot’s license in general aviation. I signed up for an introductory flight with a feisty Scottish female instructor at an airfield north of Johannesburg, South Africa. I immediately felt the shame of being incompetent at something at the age of 33. My ego was telling me to brag about my business so that this lady didn’t think I was a fool. Up in the air on my first flight I had to confess I couldn’t handle anymore flying due to crippling motion sickness. She had to land the aircraft. I was humiliated. But I admitted it and she remotivated me to keep going.
So began a slightly nauseating yet thrilling journey toward doing my fist solo flight, which all pilots know is a highlight of your life that you will never, ever forget. Meanwhile, I was the owner and operator for multiple branches of my restaurant business. This required I remain focused and deploy leadership skills with no hesitation. What I did not realise was that my girlfriend was also assessing me, for marriage and fatherhood. It turned out that these lessons in aviation humbled me while educating me on how to take responsibility for others and build the competencies required for any goal. Many aviation books advise men to check their ego at the door, to listen to peers and be respectful to subordinates because we all know that these factors have caused massive aviation disasters.
“Most experienced pilots are very stoic, methodical and reserved when on duty. […] emotional intelligence is not a requirement in aviation. However […] I would add that an overly stoic man creates a sterile, overly rational existence devoid of the ecstatic and communal aspects of life.”
What did I learn in my pilot training? Of course, I learned to fly aircraft like the Piper Cherokee and the sporty Cirrus SR, but I also learned to build and deploy skills, to prepare, to check, and recheck, evaluate myself honestly, and take appropriate action for the best, most efficient result. I learned to pay attention to my emotions and listen to my body. I grew in various ways, formulating a clear-headed perception of responsibility, one that directly involves the lives of other people. It is not surprising to me that a study showed that some professional pilots have a lower emotional intelligence than regular people. Most experienced pilots are very stoic, methodical and reserved when on duty. The study used mostly males from the military and revealed that emotional intelligence is not a requirement in aviation. However, the industry recommendation is that pilots do courses to improve emotional intelligence, the same way we do further training to be better pilots. We have learned the hard way that emotional intelligence mediates against behaviour that can contribute to aviation accidents. I would add that an overly stoic man creates a sterile, overly rational existence devoid of the ecstatic and communal aspects of life.
The fact is most pilots have a relatively high cognitive ability or IQ. But as with surgeons and legal professionals, one does not need great emotional intelligence skills to be good at these jobs. In fact, we often find sociopaths thriving among these careers, usually to the benefit of us all because they have the cold rationality required to make difficult decisions. Aviation has found a way to channel the energy, passion and cognitive angst of high IQ people, stoic males, and even some sociopaths into rewarding and socially beneficial roles.
Another study showed that more male pilots make errors related to inattention and / or poor planning whereas more female pilots have accidents due to mishandling the aircraft. This is important for us to know because the errors made by males in high stakes, high stress scenarios likely mimic the errors we all make during emotional or financial crisis: inattention and poor planning.
Other studies have supported the finding that male pilots make personal judgement errors that lead to bad outcomes. This reveals that it is a psychological error being made, not always a mechanical one. In regular life, men can also make personal judgement errors that can sabotage their lives. I would suggest errors like abusing alcohol, using aggression to dominate, consuming porn, and deflecting responsibility are psychological errors we need to recognise and tackle methodically.
We could go back and analyse these studies, but the point I am making is that in aviation we have ironed out errors and reduced them to occurring rarely and with less loss of life and property. For decades, aviation psychology has been adapting methods and procedures to accommodate and compensate for male-pattern errors, mostly because 90% (or more) of pilots have always been male. Aviation has harnessed masculine traits in the Apollonian spirit (the drive for clarity, structure, and self-awareness), to provide growth and meaningful outcomes. But many boys and men today cannot make the same claim. How can we bring the lessons in aviation to these males?
When administering a resilience measure to civil aviation pilots, researchers found “...social approval and/or organization ethics may be paramount in accounting for pilots’ self-report of high resilience, work performance and psychological well-being” (Cherng et al., 2022). These findings in aviation psychology give us a clear road map for self-actualisation. Several studies found that pilots who are thriving and coping had social relatedness, competencies in other areas, and a strong network. These traits reflect the core components of Self Determination Theory; autonomy, competence and relatedness.
How does this relate to you? Well, lets see: how much can you relate to pilots?
1. Stress and Fatigue: Pilots often operate in high-pressure environments, making critical decisions that can affect safety. This constant pressure can lead to high levels of stress and fatigue, which can impair cognitive abilities and decision-making.
2. Emotional Intelligence: Studies suggest that pilots may have lower emotional intelligence compared to the general population. This can affect their ability to manage stress and communicate effectively.
3. Mental Health Disorders: Mental health issues such as depression and anxiety are significant concerns within the aviation industry. Addressing these issues is crucial for maintaining safety and efficiency.
“In my work, I meet many males who considered sex change procedures, or gender transition. These men often reveal the fear of failure, anxiety, shame and guilt related to having inappropriate competencies for the adult world. They are afraid to become men. Further, we have a crisis of incel culture where young males opt out of traditional roles to escape the risk of failure.”
Pilots with higher emotional intelligence are more aware of their own emotions and how they affect their behaviour in the cockpit. This self-awareness helps them recognize when they are stressed or fatigued, allowing them to take steps to manage these emotions effectively. As neuroscientist Prof Antonio R. Damasio put it, “Far from interfering with rationality, the absence of emotion and feeling can break down rationality and make wise decision making almost impossible”.
Good airline pilots learn to build strong relationships with their crew, fostering a positive and collaborative environment. This is particularly important during crises when clear communication, respect and teamwork are vital. These pilots are better equipped to handle challenges and bounce back from setbacks. This resilience is crucial for maintaining performance levels during challenging situations in achieving meaningful goals.
These are all competencies young men today are not being exposed to. In my work, I meet many males who considered sex change procedures, or gender transition. These men often reveal the fear of failure, anxiety, shame and guilt related to having inappropriate competencies for the adult world. They are afraid to become men.
Further, we have a crisis of incel culture where young males opt out of traditional roles to escape the risk of failure. These males have been misled to believe that if they cannot be successful, good looking, fit, and charming, they will never find a mate and they will be publicly humiliated. This raises their survival instincts and drives them to adopt cult-like beliefs or consider sex change procedures. Arguably, this is due to social media, porn and excesses of indulgence and consumption. But many believe we have failed to model these behaviours for young males. Yet, in aviation, we have formulated habits, checklists and protocols that harness masculine traits to achieve excellence.
I am not recommending all young men should become pilots, although I ran a 3-year project to expose young people to aviation which was very successful in inspiring young people to pursue goals larger than petty competitiveness among their peers. I even had some adults attend this aviation orientation and experience levels of autonomy that moved them to tears. But I do recommend parents expose young men to arenas where other males have achieved excellence and model self awareness.
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Disclaimer: This article is for information purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, legal advice, or other professional opinion. Never disregard such advice because of this article or anything else you have read from the Centre for Male Psychology. The views expressed here do not necessarily reflect those of, or are endorsed by, The Centre for Male Psychology, and we cannot be held responsible for these views. Read our full disclaimer here.
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