Men and Anxiety – Doing More for Men's Mental Health
"Real men are not afraid". This sentiment has not been true for a long time and that's a good thing, because allowing important feelings can protect and maintain health, even life. It sometimes even looks as if the sentence has turned into the opposite: boys who cannot cope with their fear, who are dominated and terrorized by it, are no longer rare. In the first German adult health study (DEGS-1; Jacobi et al., 2014), 9.8% of 18- to 34-year-old men reported an anxiety disorder requiring treatment, compared to 5.3% of men over 65. In the second German adult health study (DEGS-2; cf. Jachertz, 2013), almost 20% of adult women stated that they suffered from an anxiety disorder requiring treatment compared to 10% of men. The number of men who actually suffer from anxiety is generally underestimated, as many do not reveal this, often do not even reflect on it themselves.
Macro Causes of Anxiety in the Lives of Boys and Men
There are many reasons to be afraid, on both a global and personal scale. However, as the Roman philosopher and Stoic Epictetus wrote, it is not the things themselves that frighten us, but our evaluations of them. The modern media, especially social networks, but also the classic news broadcasts, do a lot to continuously convey fears, especially to young people. Media-critical experts even speak of a fear production industry. It takes considerable resilience to resist the permanent, hysterically inflated production of fear of the media.
“…deficits in the area of self-esteem and emotional regulation are responsible for the increase in anxiety problems in men. The protective parts of the classic male role (strength, courage, self-assertion) are increasingly disappearing due to negative framing in the media and the education system.”
It can be suggested that deficits in the area of self-esteem and emotional regulation are responsible for the increase in anxiety problems in men. The protective parts of the classic male role (strength, courage, self-assertion) are increasingly disappearing due to negative framing in the media and the education system. Negativity about masculinity is linked to deficits in the wellbeing of men, and makes it difficult for boys to develop into self-confident men, and weakens boys in their psychologically healthy development.
Micro-Causes of Anxiety in the Lives of Boys and Men
But many things have also changed in the microcosm of boys that promote fears: absent, alienated fathers; weak commitment, single parents, stressed mothers; negative messages regarding everything masculine in the media; toxification of all males in public. For quite a few boys, the world in which they grow up is dominated by women: single mothers, educators, teachers and also more and more female professors and bosses demonstrate a world in which the masculine is foreign and inappropriate. This feminization of everyday life is one half of boys' lives, but it must not dominate everything. A crucial part of becoming a man is missing: the male role models, the perspective and reactions of men. Nowadays, male fears are particularly often related to failure in situations experienced as important: job, sexuality, finding a partner, partnership, father role and much more. The fear of failure is enormously reinforced by the lack of adequate male role models..
Anxiety symptoms at a glance
Fear is an evolutionarily very old reaction that has protected living beings from danger, improved their chances of survival and thus increased the chance of reproduction. Anxiety is therefore closely linked to the stress system, can lead to retreat or attack. When the stress system is permanently activated by feelings of anxiety, chronic, dysfunctional anxiety occurs. Today we no longer live in the dangerous world of early humans, but our fear reaction still runs purely biologically as it did back then: we perceive a fear trigger, and subjectively we are frightened. Our adrenal glands produce more of the hormones adrenaline and noradrenaline, which make us ready to react; blood pressure and heart rate increase; blood flow to the muscles is increased; we react by fleeing or attacking.
The following are the most common symptoms of chronic anxiety:
1. Physical symptoms:
• Cardiovascular system: tachycardia, palpitations, increased blood pressure, chest pain
• Breathing: shortness of breath, hyperventilation, feeling of tightness in the chest
• Gastrointestinal tract: nausea, abdominal pain, diarrhea, loss of appetite
• Muscles: muscle tension, tremors, headaches
• Sleep: difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep, nightmares
• Skin: sweating, blushing, excessive, even chronic pallor.
2. Psychological symptoms:
• Excessive worries about the future, one's own performance, the opinion of others, etc.
• Sudden feelings of anxiety, panic attacks, feeling of loss of control (fainting, collapse, heartbeat)
• Difficulty concentrating: Trouble focusing, making decisions, or retaining information.
• Increased irritability, impatience, inner restlessness
• Difficulty making decisions, procrastination for fear of making mistakes
• Feeling overwhelmed: The feeling of not being able to cope with the demands of everyday life, feeling of imminent loss of control.
3. Behavioral symptoms:
• Avoidance behavior: Avoidance of situations that trigger anxiety, e.g. public appearances, interviews, difficult negotiations.
• Social withdrawal, avoidance of contacts, including with colleagues and friends.
• Excessive need for control: perfectionism, micromanagement, difficulty delegating tasks.
• Aggressive behavior: quick irritability, tendency to outbursts of anger, hostility towards critics.
• Substance abuse: Men often calm their fears with alcohol or drugs. This is successful in the short term, but also creates a fear-substance-anxiety cycle in the longer term.
• Body language: tense posture, avoidance of eye contact, erratic movements, trembling. Due to these symptoms, even more anxiety arises, which further intensifies the symptoms.
The protective function of anxiety is undermined by the ubiquity of anxiety in everyday life. The permanent activation of the stress system and chronic fear become a plague, in the psychological sense an anxiety disorder, causing avoidance behavior. Men should be aware of this mechanism, recognize when they are affected, so that they can break through it or get help and support.
“From wars and similar existential experiences, men have learned to suppress their fears more strongly than women”
Fear repression
Because feelings of anxiety cannot be endured permanently and can also lead to other problems (compulsions, suicidality), our brain works hard to defend against excessive fears. Feeling fear subsequently means a permanent arousal of the organism and avoidance of the source of fear. In psychoanalysis, the resulting defense mechanism is described in more detail: denial, repression, reaction formation and projection are the best known of these defense mechanisms, which serve to hide the overpowering feeling of fear. This also succeeds for a long time, but can become uncontrollable if the fears persist and continue to increase, especially for men in existential threat situations, such as wars, with the enormous stress of fighting against other men again and again. From wars and similar existential experiences, men have learned to suppress their fears more strongly than women and have been brought up again and again in order to remain supposedly capable of survival. Otherwise, they would not have endured the horror situations in the never-ending wars of history. They had to control and ward off their fears more than women. Nowadays, many fears also stem from the world of work and partner relationships and families.
Men and fear: Still a taboo subject?
Fear in men's lives is all too often still a taboo subject. On the one hand, this is due to the classic male role, which demanded constant strength, avoidance of weakness and thus also freedom from fear. It is important to recognize the negative aspects of this role and to break through it in the sense of personal liberation. On the other hand, one-sidedly overwhelming expectations are still placed on men. The modern Internet world of social networks, especially dating apps, causes men many experiences of failure and insult. A look at the ideal male profile on dating apps makes this clear: strong, muscular, successful professional position, committed to the household, ideal father, always available, full of empathy and generosity. This male profile, which is all too often demanded, can exert extreme stress on men. Anyone who wants to belong to it has to participate or risks rejection and social ostracism. Those who are physically or mentally unattractive quickly end up in a permanent spiral of insult and rejection, and can become INCEL, the man who involuntarily lives without sex. The fears triggered by these sexual selection processes in the dating and mating processes remain unmentioned and taboo in public.
Men: Fear of men
Fear can refer to other men as well as women. First, let's take a look at men's fear of other men. For men, realistic self-reflection is a first and important step towards solving fear-related problems, whether they may be of a conscious or – because repressed – unconscious nature. The most common victims of violence are men. This is mainly at the expense of violence in public spaces, where more than 80% of the victims are men and well over 90% of the perpetrators are men. The fear of men in war, which is all too topical, also represents a justified and legitimate fear. No man should be forced into military service. Being afraid of violent men is not cowardice, but wise. Nowadays, violence in public spaces has increased and is often perpetrated by groups of young men. If these are migrant men, mentioning so is treated as taboo, but such obfuscations only add to the anxiety. Being afraid of violent men means protecting yourself well. Of course, violence can also come from other groups of men. In the event of an imminent act of violence, it is advisable to call out loudly for help and thus frighten the attackers. Running away – if still possible – is also a good solution, if this is still possible. When men have become victims of violence, which happens in hundreds of thousands of cases every year, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can occur. In any case, psychotherapeutic help and peer support are helpful in this case.
Men: Fear of women
But fear of women is also a relevant, even more taboo topic for men. At least a third of all victims of domestic, physical violence are men. It is therefore not uncommon for men to suffer violence in their relationships and families. In addition, it is to a large extent about psychological violence, for example in the form of threats, humiliation or emotional terror, which men suffer in relationships. It can also lead to emotional blackmail and the threat of withdrawal from love and affection, a situation that men often know from their mother's childhood. Often they are not even aware the situation they are living in is unacceptable and that they have a right to freedom from fear and an end to this emotional stressful situation. Dominant female partners are all too often a source of everyday stress and anxiety for peaceful, harmony-seeking men. They are often trapped in a pattern of "people pleasing".
“The classic characteristics of masculinity – strength, assertiveness, emotional control – are considered undesirable and are discouraged in men in the education system and in the media. This is clearly a mistake that leaves men psychologically vulnerable.”
There are many reasons for men to be afraid of women: from the constant regimentation by mothers, teachers and bosses, to the rejection and insult by women when looking for a partner because the man is not attractive enough or too low in status, to being sidelined out of the family after separation and divorce by the mothers, who then treat the children as if they were their personal possessions. Such experiences can lead to anxiety, depression or even suicide, but are strangely absent from public discussion. In the media, politics and public opinion, men are never victims, because this status is repeatedly assigned exclusively to women. This is precisely why it is important that men also realistically face their fears of women, and do not see this as a sign of weakness.
So there are still many other taboo areas regarding fear in men. These are the breeding ground for permanent fears, but also the frequent follow-up problems, depression and addiction.
Male identity helps against fear
One of the things that helps against chronic anxiety is being more positive about masculinity, as highlighted by the Centre for Male Psychology. This is also not surprising, since the emphasis on strength, emotional control and assertiveness make a high contribution to self-efficacy and anxiety reduction. The connection is psychologically directly plausible. So why condemn the classic male role in its entirety? It often seems that women are more often encouraged to be strong and assertive than men are, but men nonetheless should not carelessly give up competencies that support their mental health. However, many of the young generation of men no longer dare to be male. The classic characteristics of masculinity – strength, assertiveness, emotional control – are considered undesirable and are discouraged in men in the education system and in the media. This is clearly a mistake that leaves men psychologically vulnerable. This can be neither in their interest nor in the interest of society as a whole. As part of their own wellbeing management, men should preserve and promote the aspects of the classic male role that are beneficial to mental health.
Men and Fear: Help - Stoicism Helps Men
It has long been clear that the characteristics of stoicism that are often negatively attributed to men – composure, courage, inner balance – are in fact qualities that serve and promote mental health. Men should not let themselves be talked out of stoicism or let it be badmouthed, but rather promote it in themselves. It stabilizes them and protects them from the dangers of high impulsivity, lack of self-control and extreme risk-taking, three characteristics that many men exhibit as problem areas. Last but not least, practiced stoicism can also protect against severe anxiety problems because it calms the nerves and promotes serenity in everyday life.
Men and Anxiety: Help - Methods of Anxiety Therapy
The psychological treatment of anxiety has been well researched and has had remarkable successes. Behavioral therapy procedures are successful for anxiety disorders such as phobias (the most common anxiety diagnoses), generalized anxiety, panic attacks, and post-traumatic stress disorder. The most important therapeutic methods are self-esteem enhancement and improvement of self-efficacy with cognitive and behavioral training, exposure treatment to the anxiety-inducing stimuli or situations, and the practice of relaxation and serenity. Anxiety therapy takes place in individual or group treatment in an outpatient or inpatient setting. Practicing methods for permanent and sustainable anxiety management with positive self-communication are the central therapeutic approaches.
Summary
(1) Anxiety and chronic anxiety disorders are quite common in men's lives. At least 10% of all adult men suffer from an anxiety disorder that requires treatment. Both structural causes (such as the threat of war, continuous negative messages from the media) and personal causes (such as relationship crises, fear of failure) are responsible for the high numbers.
(2) Anxiety disorders are significantly more common in younger men than in older men.
(3) The increasing negativization of everything masculine contributes to role insecurity and diffusion. This is an important prerequisite for feelings of anxiety in everyday life.
(4) Anxiety in men refers to various possible triggers, such as other men as perpetrators of violence, or women because of issues such as domestic abuse or fear of rejection in the search for a partner.
(5) Fears can be treated well and successfully. Many men withdraw out of shame in the face of persistent fears. Addressing fear proactively is a sign of courage and self-care.
Scroll down to join the discussion
Disclaimer: This article is for information purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, legal advice, or other professional opinion. Never disregard such advice because of this article or anything else you have read from the Centre for Male Psychology. The views expressed here do not necessarily reflect those of, or are endorsed by, The Centre for Male Psychology, and we cannot be held responsible for these views. Read our full disclaimer here.
Like our articles?
Click here to subscribe to our FREE newsletter and be first
to hear about news, events, and publications.
Have you got something to say?
Check out our submissions page to find out how to write for us.
.
