Why should we observe International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Men and Boys (IDEVAMB) on 31st January?

Jan 30

The majority of victims of violence are males. During the past two decades, boys and men are experiencing more verbal, sexual, physical, emotional and psychological abuse. Unfortunately, these incidents are too often not being reported and this results in unreliable statistics, dysfunctional persons and unhealed wounds.

In Trinidad and Tobago, there has been ongoing violence against males. For instance, in 2015, the headline in the local Express newspaper was “Boy, 12, forced to drink disinfectant by classmates.” The horrible incident was a result of bullying in a primary school in the Trinidad and Tobago city of San Fernando.

This male violence also occurs globally. In November 2024, the Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby, head of the Church of England, had to resign because he failed to report the abuse of more than one hundred men and boys. This traumatic abuse occurred during the 1970s and 1980s at a boarding school and Christian camp.

We must search for solutions to end violence in our communities. Let us be the cycle-breakers who end the painful cycles of violence. Let us save males from this global crisis.

“…we must never believe that hugging and showing affection will make our boys soft or effeminate. If we do not hug our boys, then the wrong people will hug them and then it will be too late. Do we want our boys to find role models among criminal gangs? Certainly not.”

Why is IDEVAMB needed in every country? Firstly, because more advocates and experts are needed to support survivors and victims. Secondly, many people realize that 'masculinity' is under attack because some people wrongly confuse violence with masculinity. Thirdly, governments and others are realizing the dangers of violence against men in homes, at work, and elsewhere. Each one of us has an important role of identifying and breaking that cycle of violence.

An unhealthy and violent atmosphere at home will make boys escape the home environment. If parents argue at home or mistreat a boy then it's only natural that he will be rebellious and disobedient. Similarly, if the boy experiences violence or is bullied at school, there would be a reluctance to attend school. The urgent question to address: can we ensure that both school and home are safe zones and peaceful spaces? We need a recipe to create mature, diligent and reliable boys.

Differences in culture, literacy, religion and geographical location might require different solutions, but we must continue to find that elusive safety zone that will help males. We need to ensure males exist and work in a peaceful and stable environment, promote of a safe home and encourage creativity. Victims of violence must be taught to develop communication channels to share problems to overcome the trauma. The theme of IDEVAMB this year is ‘Breaking the stigma: Reporting violence against males’, but where are the intervention programs to help adolescent males?

It's hard to disagree when I write that many of our boys are misunderstood and the teenage journey is a nightmare. We need to ensure males can envision a society in which they are treated equally and be rescued from violence.

We need to work with our boys to allow them to achieve their goals. We cannot believe that violence is normal among males. Peaceful men and boys should be promoted as an accepted lifestyle. Additionally, we must never believe that hugging and showing affection will make our boys soft or effeminate. If we do not hug our boys, then the wrong people will hug them and then it will be too late. Do we want our boys to find role models among criminal gangs? Certainly not.

We must promise to be on that journey with our boys. No boy will be left behind. The normal, abnormal, slow and intelligent students will share this world and live in peace and happiness. Let us remember our male friends and relatives, brothers, fathers and sons who are unable to report abuse and violence. Let us find ways to protect the vulnerable boys and voiceless men.

The Office of the Prime Minister, Gender and Child Affairs must be commended for its recent launch of The Men’s Bureau of Trinidad and Tobago in November 2024. One of the goals of this Bureau is to create safe spaces for men and boys. More countries especially in the Global South would benefit from similar initiatives. Supporters of IDEVAMB want our world leaders to end conflicts. For IDEVAMB, let us work together to ensure males put aside their differences and unite to create a future without bloodshed, hate and pain.

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