Father Involvement – What does a healthy work-life balance look like?
Over the last few decades, western societal views on fatherhood have demonstrated a shift from the more emotionally detached, authoritarian figure, to one whose role is more involved in the nurturing of children. Society now has expectations on the modern father to be more caring and emotionally available to his children. This is reflected in the attitudes of an increasing number of fathers reporting the desire to be more involved in the lives of their children, rejecting the idea of being relegated to the traditional role of provider only, and wanting to share childrearing more equitably with mothers. Common activities that today’s fathers often reported to be engaged in with their children are care giving, play or social activities, guidance or teaching, and emotional support.
“Fathers who are more involved with their children, particularly through ‘rough and tumble play’, contribute to the development of children who are often better able to regulate their own emotions and possess better social skills and self-control.”
This change in attitudes towards greater father involvement is welcome news to children. Fathers who are more involved with their children, particularly through ‘rough and tumble play’, contribute to the development of children who are often better able to regulate their own emotions and possess better social skills and self-control. Fathers' involvement in child rearing can have a large impact on the long-term development of children and has been found to predict positive outcomes for children in later life. Well-adjusted adults tend to come from families where the father was involved in their upbringing. Children from homes with a supportive father present tend to perform better academically, and has been correlated with lower depression, reduced conduct problems, and lower substance abuse issues. Father involvement should be considered a protective factor for children that aids in the development of resilience and mitigates against certain psychological and social risks in adulthood.
Given the positive outcomes of father involvement, research has endeavoured to establish what factors predict the level of fathers' involvement with their children. First, the characteristics of the child, such as gender and birth order, have an influence on the level of father involvement. The positive attributes of the child, such as the child's temperament, also lead to greater involvement of the father. Second, characteristics of the mother influence the level of fathers' involvement. Fathers tend to be more involved with children if the mother is educated, involves herself with the children, is employed outside the home, or is older than the father. Marital (or relationship) harmony is also likely to lead to increased levels of involvement on the part of the father. Lastly, characteristics of fathers themselves, such as age, engagement in employment, and higher education, as well as knowledge, attitudes, and skills in parenting, predict the level of involvement with their children.
Despite the positive impacts of an involved father on his offspring, rates of father absence and low involvement in child rearing responsibilities are a great concern. Researchers have attempted to better understand what factors present as hindrances to father involvement. Certainly, rates of divorce and subsequent estrangement of fathers from their children is well documented. Children are also born into fatherless homes for numerous reasons, with the burden of care falling on single mothers. However, fathers being physically present in the home of their children doesn’t always translate to higher levels of involvement. In fact, fathers are reporting to be spending fewer hours with their children when compared to their mothers, despite it being more common for both parents being engaged in paid work. Barriers to fathers’ involvement in parenting are often reported to be workload, time pressures, and the pressures of earning an income. Other characteristics including fathers’ mental health, attitudes regarding their role as fathers, religious activity, and use of social support also come to bear on their level of involvement in parenting. There is of course the important issue of personal preferences: some fathers will want to spend more time with their children than other fathers. The amount of time a father wants to spend with his children might depend on the child’s age, the fathers career stage, his health, or many other factors. Two important questions are how much flexibility is there to achieve their preferences, and how much their preferences will impact the family.
“The Swedish policy recognizes both parents as having equal and important roles in child development, while also supporting for both partners to pursue their career aspirations. However […] a majority of fathers are only using a very small proportion of what leave they are entitled to.”
Many western countries have embarked on social policy changes to increase fathers’ participation in childcare, such as paid parenting leave. The Scandinavian region boast some of the most progressive social policies designed to bring about a more egalitarian model of parenting, and to increase father involvement in shared parenting. For example, Sweden has probably the best paid parenting scheme in the world. The Swedish policy recognizes both parents as having equal and important roles in child development, while also supporting for both partners to pursue their career aspirations. However there has not been a rapid uptake by fathers, with research finding that a majority of fathers are only using a very small proportion of what leave they are entitled to. Swedish mothers are the main users of this leave and are still predominantly seen as the main carers for their infants. Scotland has had a similar experience, where paid parental leave legislation has been in place since 2015 yet follow up studies have found only a small proportion of eligible fathers are participating in the scheme. Investigations into the uptake of paid parental leave by fathers across several countries has indicated that social and company attitudes, the financial circumstances of parents, and the prevailing model of mothers as primary carer, are the main influencing factors.
Workplace legislation is one very important step towards a shared model of parenting, but legislation doesn’t occur in a vacuum, and for any policy to effect change it must reflect the needs and wishes of parents themselves, rather than being imposed by ‘the powers that be’. Conversations between couples regarding their decisions to have children, how they intend to provide care for their children, while also catering for the individuals’ career aspirations and needs, are pivotal. We need to better understand these conversations, and how we might assist parents in making what might feel like ground-breaking changes to the way they share the roles of parenting and providing, if that’s what they want.
It is important to recognise that just because homes without fathers are related to social problems such as delinquency, does not mean that homes with equal parenting are a solution to these social problems. As with any changes in life, there may be unintended consequences to a change in parenting. For example, a father may be happy to reduce his paid work to take on more parenting, but have concerns about losing the respect of his family, or the mother might be happy to work more outside the home, but have concerns about increased work-related stress.
In any case, it makes sense that we expand the narrative from terms that keep men in a place of secondary or apprentice parent to mothers, who are still often viewed as the primary or lead parent, to a more flexible model that honours the strengths and weakness of both parents and combines to provide an optimal environment for child development. New fathers entering the transition to parenting period can be especially supported and nurtured to adopt a sense of competence and confidence in their role as fathers, to be the best father they can be.
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Disclaimer: This article is for information purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, legal advice, or other professional opinion. Never disregard such advice because of this article or anything else you have read from the Centre for Male Psychology. The views expressed here do not necessarily reflect those of, or are endorsed by, The Centre for Male Psychology, and we cannot be held responsible for these views. Read our full disclaimer here.
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