“It has to start with listening”. A feminist comes to terms with the Men's Rights movement. (Inspiring quotes from Cassie Jaye’s TEDx Talk).
Cassie Jaye is the director and producer of the 2016 American documentary film The Red Pill which explores the men's rights movement.
Jaye spent a year interviewing men's rights figures in North America, including Paul Elam, founder of A Voice for Men; and Warren Farrell, author of The Myth of Male Power. Forty four people were filmed in total producing 100 hours of footage.
Jaye also kept a video diary, recording her evolving views on the project. One surprising change was her journey from identifying as a proud feminist to dropping the feminist label completely.
A year after the film was released, Cassie Jaye gave a TEDx Talk called ‘MEETING THE ENEMY: A feminist comes to terms with the men's rights movement’ about her experience of making The Red Pill. It hit YouTube just over four years ago on October 18th 2017 and to date has nearly 10 million views, 450K upvotes and 50K comments.
Many of her wise reflections in her TEDx apply beyond gender issues, to any area where polarised views exists.
Our recent interview with Cassie Jaye received overwhelmingly positive attention, so as an added bonus we thought we would share a reminder also of her inspirational TED Talk. This article highlights some of the most insightful quotes from Jaye’s talk.
You can watch the full TEDx here (highly recommended).
The numbers below relate to the timestamp of that particular quote.
The enemy
00.14: “In 2013, I decided to meet my enemies. I was a 27-year-old, award-winning documentary filmmaker and a proud feminist. And I was determined to expose the dark underbelly of the men's rights movement. At that point, all I knew of the men's rights movement was from what I'd read online, that it's a misogynistic hate group actively working against women's equality.”
Knee-jerk reactions
04.23: “I would often hear an innocent, valid point that a men's rights activist would make, but in my head, I would add on to their statements, a sexist or anti-woman spin, assuming that's what they wanted to say but didn't.”
03.22: “… my initial knee-jerk reactions to certain statements weren't really warranted, and my feeling offended did not hold up to intense scrutiny.”
Down the rabbit hole
06.42: “in my effort to avoid agreeing with my enemy completely, I changed from putting words in their mouth, to acknowledging the issue, but insisting they are women's issues.”
07.55: “Why couldn't I simply learn about men's issues and have compassion for male victims without jumping at the opportunity to insist that women are the real victims?”
“When you start to humanize your enemy, you, in turn, may be dehumanized by your community”
On human rights issues affecting men
08.10: “Well, after years of researching and fact-checking what the men's rights activists were telling me, there is no denying that there are many human rights issues that disproportionately or uniquely affect men.”
08.28: “Paternity fraud uniquely affects men. The United States selective service in the case of a draft still uniquely affects men. Workplace deaths: disproportionately men. War deaths: overwhelmingly men. Suicide: overwhelmingly men. Sentencing disparity, life expectancy, child custody, child support, false rape allegations, criminal court bias, misandry, failure to launch, boys falling behind in education, homelessness, veterans’ issues, infant male genital mutilation, lack of parental choice once a child is conceived, lack of resources for male victims of domestic violence… so many issues that are heartbreaking,”
09.22: “Most people can't name one [men's rights issue], because they think, "Well, men have all their rights; they have all the power and privilege." But these issues deserve to be acknowledged. They deserve care, attention, and motivation for solutions.”
On Men’s Rights Activists (MRAs)
06.15: “I eventually realized what they are saying; they are trying to add to the gender equality discussion.”
13.14: “Men's groups are continually vilified, falsely referred to as hate groups, and their voices are systematically silenced.”
“I did meet my enemy while filming. It was my ego saying that I was right, and they were subhuman.”
Target of a smear campaign
10.54: “When you start to humanize your enemy, you, in turn, may be dehumanized by your community… Rather than debating the merit of the issues addressed in the film, I became the target of a smear campaign, and people who had never seen the movie protested outside the theatre doors, chanting that it was harmful to women.”
The greatest challenge
12.19: “The greatest challenge I faced was peeling back the layers of my own bias. It turns out I did meet my enemy while filming. It was my ego saying that I was right, and they were subhuman.”
No longer a feminist
09.42: “Before making The Red Pill movie, I was a feminist of about ten years, and I thought I was well-versed on gender equality issues. But it wasn't until I met men's rights activists that I finally started to consider the other side of the gender equality equation.”
12.44: “It's no secret now that I no longer call myself a feminist, but I must clarify I am not anti-feminist, and I am not a men's rights activist. I still support women's rights, and I now care about men's rights as well. However, I believe if we want to honestly discuss gender equality, we need to invite all voices to the table.”
Cassie Jaye’s final piece of advice
13.42: “If I could give advice to anyone in our society at large, we have to stop expecting to be offended, and we have to start truly, openly, and sincerely listening. That would lead to a greater understanding of ourselves and others, having compassion for one another, working together towards solutions because we all are in this together. And once we do that, we can finally heal from the inside out. But it has to start with listening.”
Cassie Jaye is an American film director with Jaye Bird Productions. As an actor she felt typecast as “the cute girl-next-door who always died in horror films”. Experiences of sexual harassment led her to embrace feminism, though she famously later rejected feminism as a result of her experiences in The Red Pill. Cassie recently became a mother.
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Disclaimer: This article is for information purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, legal advice, or other professional opinion. Never disregard such advice because of this article or anything else you have read from the Centre for Male Psychology. The views expressed here do not necessarily reflect those of, or are endorsed by, The Centre for Male Psychology, and we cannot be held responsible for these views. Read our full disclaimer here.
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