Suicide of a loved one: from Jessica’s loss comes a sign of hope
Over the years and many hundreds of miles travelled, #ProjectJeb has interacted with thousands of wonderful people, from all walks of life, who have had the tragedy of male suicide enter their lives.
About three years ago on a Northern walk in an Ontario town, in a parking lot where Charger and I were setting up to bunk down for the night, a woman ever so politely asked for our attention.
The young woman was upset. She apologized profusely for disturbing Charger and I. I assured her she was not disturbing us.
She explained to me that she had a special request to us on behalf of a friend of hers called Jessica. Jessica had recently lost her brother to suicide. She wanted to honour this loss, and help prevent another horrible tragedy from visiting another family, friend, community. She thought it was a huge favour to ask of Charger and I, and apologised again for disturbing us.
When I found out what the favour was, in truth she was far from disturbing Charger and I.
“Jessica heard about what you do, and wanted to ask if it would be ok for you to mention her brother’s name when telling people about suicide”. She handed me a sign Jessica had made. “Would it be ok to put this on your trailer, in memory of her brother?”.
Picture: Jessica’s handwritten sign on Dan Perrins’ trailer.
Some time later, Jessica sent me the post she shared that night on social media - powerful words from a strong young lady working her way through sudden tragic loss.
“This evening I received these pictures from an amazing friend. Her and I heard about this guy walking for men’s suicide awareness, we both said we would like to go talk to him. My schedule hasn’t given me the chance to make it out to where he has been set up. Well tonight she made it out to see him and talk with him.
His name is Dan and his dogs name is Charger, he walks for 60 days to raise awareness for men’s suicide and mental health. He started #ProjectJeb in 2016 and has done it every year since. He encourages people to come talk to him, to ask questions. This opens the conversation for men’s suicide awareness.
So why is this so important to me? Many of you know my brother passed away earlier this year. July 25th, 2020 to be exact. What most of you don’t know is that it was a result of suicide. My brother struggled the last year and a half with his mental health, he tried to seek help multiple times but the health care system failed him.
My brother would probably be mad at me for sharing this, but men’s mental health is just important as women’s. I wish we could have saved my brother, but I’m hoping that shining light on men’s mental health will help save someone else’s life. I have too many males in my life to not speak out about this.
Men’s feelings are just as important as women’s, men shouldn’t feel ashamed to share how they are feeling. Men should get equal help with mental health! #MenMatter
My friend asked Dan if she could hang this sign on his trailer, in memory of Jeffrey and to show people that this is a real issue.
I’ve been struggling everyday since my brothers passing, it hasn’t gotten any easier, if anything it feels like it’s gotten a lot harder. Although this brought tears to my eyes, it also brought a smile to my face. Jeff, I wish you knew how much people cared and how loved you were and are. I know you couldn’t see it then but I hope you see it now !
Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you, and wish I could have helped you. But that doesn’t mean I can’t help other men in my life, including my son and nephew ! ❤️”
Thank you for reading this. I encourage you to spread Jessica's words in the hopes it helps save a life, perhaps more than one life, perhaps many.
Jessica is a Jeb-I warrior, a force for good, raising awareness about men's mental health.
Thank you Jessica.
Jessica has given permission for her words to be used in this article
f you are having thoughts of suicide, or have been impacted by the suicide of someone close to you, phone Samaritans on 116 123 (UK & Ireland), who are open 24 hours per day, every day of the year. In Canada phone 1-833-456-4566. In the US phone 988 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. In Australia call Lifeline on 13 11 14
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Disclaimer: This article is for information purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, legal advice, or other professional opinion. Never disregard such advice because of this article or anything else you have read from the Centre for Male Psychology. The views expressed here do not necessarily reflect those of, or are endorsed by, The Centre for Male Psychology, and we cannot be held responsible for these views. Read our full disclaimer here.
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Dan Perrins
Ordinary man driven to delivering one-man voluntary community health promotion by extraordinary circumstances. I run #ProjectJeb throughout Southern Ontario, Canada, hoping to improve men’s mental health by spreading the Four Pillars of Jeb. #MenMatter no more or less than #WomenMatter. Be a Jeb-i warrior - be a force for good.