Is it ok to say ‘kill all men’, but extremism to say ‘kill all women’?

Aug 24

This week saw headlines announcing that misogyny is to be treated as extremism by the UK government. New measures will be based on a review by the Home Office, which is led by Yvette Cooper. According to The Telegraph, “Extreme misogyny will be treated as terrorism for the first time under Government plans to combat the radicalisation of young men online. …Ms Cooper’s rapid review, which will be completed later this Autumn, will form the basis of a new counter-extremism strategy which the Home Office intends to launch early next year.”

Although no reasonable person would support extreme misogyny, there are several major problems with the government’s approach, which I will outline below.

“the Home Office review will no doubt be based on the usual deeply flawed evidence we see in research into domestic violence that results in interventions that are little help or can even backfire.”

Firstly, calling it a “rapid review” is all but admitting it will be a rushed job. Anyone who recalls the ‘warp speed ’ development of the covid vaccines will understand how important the aphorism is that when we act in haste we relent at leisure. Also, because the subject is misogyny, the Home Office review will no doubt be based on the usual deeply flawed evidence we see in research into domestic violence that results in interventions that are little help or can even backfire.

It is very doubtful that the results of this review will create anything that will make women safer from men. However a much more likely outcome is that it will make women more afraid of men.

Another very likely outcome is that it will inspire a fresh wave of finger-wagging interventions in schools which will alienate boys. Some boys will react by internalising a sense of shame about being a man and consequently experience worse mental wellbeing, but others are very likely to react against the propaganda and act out in aggressive ways that will look like a self-fulfilling prophesy by those telling us we need to fear men and boys.

There is also the central issue of what exactly is meant by ‘extreme misogyny’, and whether classifying it as something like terrorism will reduce it. This Pandora’s box releases a tsunami of urgent questions, such as:

What is ‘extreme misogyny’?
Has anyone at the Home Office given a definition, or an example? Some media outlets have used the term “terrorism ”, while others are using “extremism”. The new UK government definition of extremism suggests extremism can lead to terrorism, but is not itself terrorism. Interestingly, the new definition of extremism (published 14th March 2024) does not mention misogyny, but says:

“Extremism is the promotion or advancement of an ideology based on violence, hatred or intolerance, that aims to:

1. negate or destroy the fundamental rights and freedoms of others; or

2. undermine, overturn or replace the UK’s system of liberal parliamentary democracy and democratic rights; or

3. intentionally create a permissive environment for others to achieve the results in (1) or (2).”

This begs a further question:

What other views could be classified as extremism?
There is no shortage of extreme views on the internet, some advocates of which have called for extreme intolerance towards others (e.g. anti-natalism, radical environmentalism, and radical feminism). To what extent could any of these views be classified as extremism? Should people be prevented from expressing these views? Clearly there are serious implications here for the important principle of free speech.

What kind of people are influenced by hateful influencers?
As so often is the case when it comes to a story about misogyny, The Telegraph and other news outlets have hauled out the usual suspects: Incels. In my opinion incels have enough problems (e.g. extremely poor mental health, self-harm and – predictably - loneliness), and their potential for violence against anyone other than themselves is too often exaggerated in the media. The issue here is less about extreme misogyny and more about an extreme failure of mental health services to create a connection with men who need their help.

There is also the subtle implication that violence against women is motivated by extreme misogyny. However, to take the example of domestic violence, violence against women often involves substance abuse and / or emotional control issues. The average man in the UK is more likely to want to protect women than harm them, but is exposed to the narrative that the ‘protector role’ aspect of traditional masculinity is an affront to women, and at best ‘benevolent sexism ’. How frustrated those men must feel, and although men are constantly told they need to talk about their feelings, what happens to the man who lets off steam about this issue online, but then is accused of ‘extreme misogyny’? The reality is that men of all ages, according to my study of 4,000 men in the UK and Germany, agree that masculinity makes them want to protect women, and the better their mental wellbeing the more strongly they agree. This highlights the importance of not undermining the mental wellbeing of men and boys by, for example, undermining the value of men and masculinity.

Is extreme misandry a type of extremism?
If extreme misogyny is a type of extremism, is extreme misandry a type of extremism too? If it’s illegal to post on the internet ‘kill all women’, should it be illegal to post ‘kill all men’? One might argue that because men are more likely to kill women than vice versa that ‘kill all men’ is a not as threatening, but this ignores the fact that violence by women against men does indeed happen (e.g. at least a third of DV victims are male victims of female violence). If ‘kill all women’ is an incitement to violence, then so is ‘kill all men’, even if the latter incites less violence.

“There is already evidence that men are more likely to be imprisoned than women for the same crime, and indeed there is a long-running campaign for women’s prisons to be shut down, except for extreme cases like Rose West, and reopened as men’s prisons.”

If the Home Office’s plan sounds a bit one-sided, that’s nothing new. There is already evidence that men are more likely to be imprisoned than women for a similar crime, and indeed there is a long-running campaign for women’s prisons to be shut down - except for extreme cases like Rose West - and reopened as men’s prisons. A law against extreme misogyny in the absence of a law against extreme misandry would be an unwelcome – though not unprecedented – continuation of this trend, and it seems increasingly possible that pointing out this discrepancy could itself become illegal at some point.

Training related to this topic
Online course: 'Introduction to Male Psychology and Mental Health'. Approved by The British Psychological Society (BPS) for Continuing Professional Development (CPD) (6 hours).

Webinar: Improving boys' mental health, their understanding of masculinity and their experience of school. Live CPD Webinar (including Q&A).

Webinar: Male-friendly therapy: understanding therapy for men, men’s mental health, and help-seeking. Live CPD Webinar (including Q&A).

Selected references / recommended reading
Barry, J; Walker, R; Liddon, L; & Seager, M. (2020). Reactions to contemporary narratives about masculinity: A pilot study. Psychreg Journal of Psychology, 4(2), 8–21. https://doi.org/10.5281/zenodo.3871217

Liddon, L., & Barry, J. (2021). Perspectives in male psychology: An introduction. John Wiley & Sons. ISBN: 978-1-119-68535

Barry J. (2023). The belief that masculinity has a negative influence on one's behavior is related to reduced mental well-being. Int J Health Sci (Qassim). PMID: 37416841

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