The 10 most significant gender gaps facing men
Socially created differences between the sexes ("gaps") and underlying discrimination against women ("gender pay gap") have dominated the public debate for several years. The true gender pay gap is certainly not, as is usually claimed in the mainstream media every spring, between 17% and 21%. The so-called adjusted gender pay gap, which shrinks to 2% to 4% when part-time employment and career choices are taken into account, is also not the last word. Taking into account maintenance and pension payments and other inconsistencies in the calculations, the ominous discrimination factor is 0%. Interestingly, no one can put a valid figure on this clear-sounding figure to this day. However, all the hype about the gender pay gap cleverly conceals the many other gaps and discriminations, including and especially those that affect men. These are rarely or never discussed.
This article deals with the under-recognised phenonmenon of discrimination against men. The public media in particular predominantly give men's issues a wide berth when it comes to disadvantage and discrimination, while on the other hand they never tire of propagating the topic of "toxic masculinity" or " patriarchy". Men are then generally considered dangerous and, on top of that, privileged.
“...all the hype about the gender pay gap cleverly conceals the many other gaps and discriminations, including and especially those that affect men.”
Real or even more supposedly disadvantaged women are legitimized by the propaganda of negative masculinity and then compensated by "positive discrimination" e.g. by quota regulations and exclusion regulations. The improved positions achieved in this way, especially for academically qualified women, are now increasingly overshooting the original goal of parity. It is no longer a question of parity, but of real overcompensation, which is increasingly common in management positions in public administration and in positions in courts and in public service media.
Quotas are an example of positive discrimination measures. The strategy stems from U.S. affirmative action legislation, which originally referred to the betterment of the black minority. These are socio-political measures that are intended to counteract negative discrimination against social groups in the form of social disadvantage by granting targeted advantages. However, such strategies are questionable, on the one hand if they lead to a clear and lasting improvement of the once disadvantaged compared to the majority and, on the other hand, if relevant disadvantages are not taken into account at all. It is not surprising that more and more young, highly qualified men in Germany are no longer receiving highly-paid management positions – especially in the public sector and at universities – because they are preferred to a woman solely for reasons of gender. Here, and among the low-skilled men, a male precariat is gradually emerging simply because men are no longer able to get into the positions for which they are suitable because of their gender. They are then no longer attractive as breadwinners and family men and are also less likely to get into these roles.
Discrimination and gaps at the expense of men
The following are the top ten disadvantages that affect men in today's society. This is linked to a sustainable "call for action". In other words, politics and society can no longer act exclusively for the betterment of women, while men remain or are disadvantaged in crucial areas. In the ten areas presented below, men are those in which they experience disadvantage or discrimination. There is a need for social awareness and measures to improve the situation. In this way, an important contribution to actual gender equality can be achieved – not derived from ideologies, but from empirical facts.
10 Gender Gaps for Men (Overview)
1. Lack of empathy for boys and men ("Gender Empathy Gap")
2. Gender Education Gap
3. Men are assumed to have privileges, even if they demonstrably have none
4. Fathers are still second-class parents in divorce proceedings
5. Men Last – The Sacrifice Gap
6. Career and success pressures plus family and household stress
7. Dangerous Jobs and Fatal Accidents at Work
8. Men die earlier
9. Men are three times more likely to commit suicide
10. Men are more likely to become addicted
10 Gender Gaps for Men and What to Do About Them
1. Lack of empathy for boys and men ("Gender Empathy Gap")
When assessing victimhood, men are often not seen or even acknowledged as victims. When foreign policy laments the enormous suffering of women in the Ukraine war, it is striking at the same time that the greatest sacrifice of giving one's life as a soldier in battle is not even mentioned on the part of men. This is the Gender Empathy Gap!
This also applies to cases of domestic violence, where about a third of all victims are men. The fact that the majority of all victims of violence in society are men is hardly publicly known. When men become victims, there is often a hasty apportionment of blame ("self-blame") or a lack of compassion ("gender empathy gap"). On the other hand, women are more often and automatically seen as victims, even if this does not speak to the facts, which argues in favor of a generalization of roles. This plays an important role in false accusations against men.
Traditionally, men have learned again and again in society and families that they should take a step back in everyday life, but especially in emergencies and wars, they should wear themselves out and sacrifice themselves. This applies to the high level of commitment to work, family, help in emergencies and, in extreme cases, the ruthless sacrifice of one's own body or life in war. For the majority of men in history over the last millennia, life has meant oppression and victimhood.
The cultural cardinal rule of self-sacrifice was most strongly burned into the collective consciousness with the rescue slogan "women and children first" at the sinking of the Titanic in 1912. The lower value of men's lives and their commitment to courage and dedication was determined by the fact that they are adults (less lifespan than children) and cannot bear children (less relevant to the population than women). Currently, the obligation to self-wear and sacrifice is shown by the fact that in the Ukraine war, men between the ages of 18 and 60 are not allowed to flee, but must be available for the defense of the country. Men who resist or flee are negatively condemned and are still considered cowards. This distinction between the roles of men and women in war has hardly been publicly discussed. Although up to 20% of the Ukrainian army is made up of women and they fight bravely and courageously, in other Western countries, the fighting and self-sacrifice is left to the men, as they have always been.
Psychological experiments have also repeatedly shown that male adolescents and men are less likely to receive help in emergency situations than girls and women. And this applies to both men and women as observers of the situation. In other words, men help and protect women more than they do with other men. The role of protector is so deeply rooted in most men that this can not only be the result of socialization, but must also have evolutionary causes. This deeply evolutionary and culturally ingrained behavior contradicts the blanket condemnations of men as toxic and misogynistic.
Another area in which the phenomenon of different empathy for women and men is expressed is criminal law. Men are more likely to receive a prison sentence for the same offences in criminal proceedings and, if women are also sentenced to prison, they are also likely to receive longer prison sentences. In other words, judges, jurors and juries – regardless of gender – show less empathy and leniency with male perpetrators compared to female perpetrators. For more information on the topic as a whole, see also).
Gender Education Gap
In the field of school education , too, there is a latent discrimination against the male sex. With more than 90% of kindergarten teachers and almost 89% female teachers in primary schools , boys often find it difficult to find role models for male behaviour. Their behavior is more often negatively stigmatized because it does not correspond to female role expectations. Not all female professionals succeed in behaving towards boys and girls in the same way in an accepting and empathetic manner. Even if the wilder playing, romping and competing of boys is accepted and understood, which is often not the case, unconscious prejudices and resentments may exist on the part of female professionals. Several studies have shown that identical essays resulted in different grades depending on whether a boy's or a girl's name was written on them. Boys tended to get worse grades. Being young is a risk factor for discrimination in education today.
In the end, the imbalances in the primary sector are problematic for boys. They are not of interest to the Equal Opportunities Officers, although this would be an important area of activity. Although the lack of men in these professions is often lamented, the measures for change remain conspicuously dull. Depending on the federal state, an average of 6% to 10% fewer boys in a year complete the Abitur than girls. In NRW, 55% of all high school graduates were girls and 45% boys. The effect will also soon be seen in university degrees and will then also appear in the world of work among highly qualified professionals. In politics and the press, the high proportion of female high school graduates is usually celebrated as a success of gender equality policy, without realizing the negative effects that gender imbalance will have on society and families. It is high time that education policy and business take countermeasures.
“...men are disproportionately represented in both prominent and disadvantaged positions in society. [...] it is not about privilege, but about the distribution of qualities and characteristics.”
3. Men are assumed to have privileges, even if they demonstrably have none
Men are more likely to live in precarious conditions such as homelessness, imprisonment or are more likely to work in precarious work contexts (see point 7). They are also increasingly affected by poorer education (see point 2). Nevertheless, they are generally assumed to have privileges and advantages that in reality only a few men – as well as women – enjoy, namely the members of the modern oligarchy. There is no patriarchal system that favors men in principle. The narrative of a patriarchal conspiracy of men, which is repeatedly heard, turns out to be a conspiracy narrative, an illusion. As a result, men in the Western world are repeatedly turned into perpetrators, women into victims, virtually cemented in their roles.
Men are more extreme in everything – the greater male variability hypothesis
Rather, men are disproportionately represented in both prominent and disadvantaged positions in society. This, in turn, has a variety of reasons, from stronger motivation to perform on the one hand to gender-related discrimination on the other (see points 2 and 7). Men exhibit more extreme behaviors and have more affiliations with extreme groups than women. This applies to highly gifted chess players, hyper-intelligent and power-hungry people on the one hand, as well as to messies, homeless people and under-intelligent people on the other. The phenomenon behind it, the "greater male variability hypothesis", shows that it is not about privilege, but about the distribution of qualities and characteristics in the two populations of men and women . When it comes to privilege, it's a phenomenon of oligarchies. Of course, these are often dominated by men, but they are very few, so that the majority of men are not at all privileged in terms of possessions, money and power. To insinuate that men have more privileges than women and that this is an expression of a secret system of power with a glass ceiling is a sign of a poorly reflected and unempirically unfounded ideology-heavy view of the world. In short, it's nonsense! But unfortunately, too many people still believe in it. The reality of the lives of men and women is different from that of gender ideologues.
4. Fathers are still second-class parents in divorce proceedings
Every year, more than 120,000 children in Germany are affected by the divorce of their parents. In addition, there are many partnerships without a marriage certificate, in which a child was born and grew up. More than 100,000 children a year lose permanent, close contact with their fathers, often against the declared will of the father.
In family court disputes, if the ex-partners cannot come to an agreement, fathers are regularly threatened with disadvantages with regard to intensive contact with their children. Often, a residence model with a 14-day visitation arrangement with the father still prevails, which means that the children are with the mother for 12 days and then with the father for 2 days. There are often still reservations about the alternating model favoured by many child and family experts (the child lives with the mother for 1 week and then with the father for 1 week). Above all, it is still too often possible to sabotage the rights of fathers openly or subtly ("The child does not want to be with you") and thus to create more and more alienation between the child and the separated parent (in about 90% of cases the father). Youth welfare offices and family courts are sensitized to these problems in very different ways and are often not yet ready to deal with the problem of parent-child alienation. It has been known for a long time that Parental Alienation not only discriminates against the separated parent and causes psychological stress, but that it is above all the alienated children who suffer lasting, often lifelong damage. In addition, divorced fathers often experience humiliating and devaluing interactions with less knowledgeable professionals at youth welfare offices and in the preparation of family court expert opinions. Above all, however, they are defenseless in the face of mothers, who prefer to raise children alone rather than come to terms with their ex-partners, and are often the object of revenge and jealousy. Finally, there are also heavy financial burdens for the separated father, on the one hand for the ex-partner and the children. But fortunately, if the children stay with the father for many days a month, he has to pay the full monthly maintenance. It turns out that in the supposedly progressive divorce and alimony law, fathers are disadvantaged and punished in a variety of ways. It is as if the negative feelings of the ex-partners have been immortalized in the divorce and visitation law.
5. Men Last – The Sacrifice Gap
Sacrificing oneself in war, for one's family, for one's work. More and more men no longer want to take on this traditional male role. However, living a self-determined life also means not letting ideology determine what a man can and should and should not do. In society and politics, however, this is now the predominant model of thought and action. Men too often experience disadvantages (in dealing with their children, in the financial sphere, in their professional careers), while at the same time they are expected to play the classic self-sacrificing male role. This is also the case at the moment in the Ukraine war. Ukrainian men, at least those of the lower and middle classes, must go to war if they do not want to be severely punished and ostracized.
Increasingly, however, men want to find a new way between their own interests, which they confidently represent, and social, partnership and family interests. However, they must also be able to rely on the fact that they will be treated fairly and equally. This is no longer the case in the socio-political arena today. What women used to complain about as a double burden between part-time work, family and household has often become a mega-burden for men today between full-time work, family and household. Here, a self-sacrifice gap has arisen that was not even known before and is now tacitly expected of modern men . This consists of full-time employment, fatherhood and proportionate household work. As a result, it is not surprising that fewer and fewer men are willing to follow the classic partnership and family model and refuse to do so.
6. Career and success pressure
Men continue to experience greater pressure to succeed in their careers than women. This then leads to the multiple burdens described in point 5 when men also want to meet modern role expectations vis-à-vis their wives and children. If they deliberately do not want to bow to this multi-role pressure, the majority of men experience that they are then less successful in the partner market. Because then they will no longer have an attractive job or a socially respected position for women. This is still expected by most women. It corresponds to the principle of hypergamy. Conversely, this expectation does not apply to women to the same extent. 77% of modern women in Germany say that they expect their partner to take good care of the family (according to Statista, 2021). If men also want to be perfect partners and fathers, they experience an unprecedented multiple role stress of professional, partnership and paternal stress. At the same time, they are competing more and more often and more hopelessly with women who are preferred to them due to quota regulations. If they then have a low income or are even recipients of citizens' benefits, they suffer a drastic drop in attractiveness on the partner market. Men should learn from this to proactively emancipate themselves against the expectations of their environment, even if this does not generate very pleasant reactions at first. In the long run, they benefit their health, their autonomy and their self-esteem.
7. Dangerous Jobs and Fatal Accidents at Work
The most dangerous jobs in the world are predominantly performed by men. These include civil engineering, building construction, fisheries, power plants, steel industry, slaughterhouses, waste disposal and mining. Among the 20 most dangerous jobs, the average proportion of men in the U.S. is 89%. Accordingly, men account for more than 95% of all fatal accidents at work. The figures are similar in Germany, but this is not discussed too often in this country. It is not a privilege to sacrifice one's life or health in war or in dangerous professions. Men often take on these jobs in order to be able to feed their families, so they are protectors and providers. The fact that men take on these jobs and often work overtime in them is related to the expectations (see point 6) and obligations that are placed on them if they want to be successful and attractive in the partner market. If they do not see through and break through the dilemma of social devaluation as toxic on the one hand and the expectations placed on them as protectors and breadwinners, they find themselves in a hamster wheel that holds them captive for decades.
8. Men die earlier
The average life expectancy of men is 4-5 years lower than that of women. Most recently, figures were reported from the USA that the short-lived gap has even grown to over 5 years. Men currently live an average of 78.9 years in Germany, women 83.6 years. Again, this is not a privilege, but an open disadvantage. Incidentally, the surplus of years of life in favour of women is not taken into account in the gender pay gap. The causes of this premature mortality in men are manifold. Only a small part (approx. 1 year) is accounted for by the testosterone hypothesis, which has been favored for a long time. Rather, the causes of the shorter lifespan lie in poorer health behaviour, riskier behaviours with alcohol, tobacco and drugs, as well as a higher stress level (see point 6) at work and, increasingly, in families. Too little research has been done on the ephemeral life of men. This "male research gap" also represents discrimination against men. In the U.S., there is a national research agency on women's health, but none on men's health. The situation is similar in Germany.
“What is needed is not a feminist policy, but a humanistic one that takes care of the well-being, health and advancement of both sexes, and the balance of interests of both to promote a genuine gender equality.”
In any case, this is likely to contribute to the phenomenon of the shorter average lifespan of men: men are generally more prone to self-wear and lack of self-care in their classic role. They simply sacrifice themselves more often for women, family and state. They are less and less thanked for this. They should also not wait for thanks, but emancipate themselves from it. Here, men are called upon to commit themselves to changing their attitude towards health and self-care. Otherwise, the phenomenon of the male short-lived life will not change in the long term.
9. Men are three times more likely to commit suicide
Suicides are significantly more frequently by men than by women. 75% of all suicide victims are men. Women, on the other hand, are more likely to threaten or talk about suicide (parasuicidality). Suicides are often committed by men out of a depressed, desperate mood. Especially after separation and divorce or in the case of prolonged child deprivation, the suicide rate among men increases. After separations, ten times more men than women commit suicide. Clinical depression can also exist – overtly or latently – in the background, sometimes in combination with addiction disorders. Addictions can also be related to suicide. Men need more comprehensive help with loneliness, crises and depressive developments in order to reduce the male-specific risk of suicide. So far, the public, but also the entire health care system, has been too little concerned with suicide prevention among men. It's like letting it happen fatalistically.
10. Men are more likely to become addicted
About three-quarters of all addicts (alcohol, drugs, gambling) are men. This fact has been known for a long time. Nevertheless, so far there is neither male-specific addiction help nor are the causes of the phenomenon systematically addressed. Adolescents with early abnormalities – predominantly boys – are often excluded and stigmatized, but not treated. The negative development for boys in the field of education (see point 2) will increase the risks even more. Young men without educational qualifications and often with a migrant background will grow up to become a social precariat with increased risks of mental disorders, especially addiction, and crime. Society as a whole must counteract the imminent risks that are already clearly identifiable. This is not at all evident on the part of family and gender policy and only partially on the part of health policy.
Against discrimination and unequal treatment of both sexes
The list of the ten most important disadvantages and discrimination against men makes it clear that equal treatment and equality cannot be a one-way street in the direction in which only women are helped. For both sexes, there are disadvantages, discrimination and real differences ("gaps"). However, unlike women, men today do not have a lobby to help them eliminate their discrimination. Being focused only on the gender pay gap is a mistake, especially on the part of the media and politicians. The gender pay gap is in fact the fake gap that obscures the view of the relevant discrimination against men and women.
The gaps between the sexes must be accurately and comprehensively perceived in order to gain genuine gender equality. To do this, however, men themselves must take action – for themselves and for others. With the ten points listed that represent such differences and disadvantages, a gender-equitable social policy must start in the same way as it has done for women for years. However, this is not to be expected from the ruling politics in Germany. What is needed is not a feminist policy, but a humanistic one that takes care of the well-being, health and advancement of both sexes, and the balance of interests of both to promote a genuine gender equality. The approaches of the Federal Ministry for Family Affairs, Senior Citizens, Women and Youth (BMFSFJ) follow a purely feminist agenda. The ministry has degenerated into a training ground for ideology and is not fulfilling its tasks for the well-being of all people in the country. The BMFSFJ is like a ship that, despite numerous warning signals, continuously sails in one direction – towards the ice berg. The Ministry of Family Affairs, which is still a ministry without men, should have long since taken action against the "boy crisis" and the coming precariat of poorly qualified men. Smart, gender-equitable and preventive policies must address the disadvantages and discriminations outlined here.
A lobby for men is humane in the truest sense of the word, because it also serves families – partners and children – by preventing suffering and violence. If politics, the media and society recognise and address the discrimination that men and women suffer from, then more social justice will actually emerge. The current government policy is one-sided, partisan and unfair. Only when attention is finally paid to the situation of disadvantaged men can more justice be achieved. Then both sexes can live with more well-being and in fairer conditions.
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Disclaimer: This article is for information purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, legal advice, or other professional opinion. Never disregard such advice because of this article or anything else you have read from the Centre for Male Psychology. The views expressed here do not necessarily reflect those of, or are endorsed by, The Centre for Male Psychology, and we cannot be held responsible for these views. Read our full disclaimer here.
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